Funny Jokes
Extra-Funny Jokes for Kids
New!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore!
Why can’t you trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
What has hands but can’t clap?
A clock.
Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two tired.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
Why was the broom late?
It over-swept.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
Why are ghosts bad at lying?
You can see right through them.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What do you call a mom with three kids?
Out of breath!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
Why did the kid bring a pencil to bed?
To draw the curtains!
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps running away from the ball.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
She wanted to go to high school.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Why did the robber take a bath?
He wanted to make a clean getaway.
What do you call a thief who steals meat?
A hamburglar.
Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?
He heard someone stole a base.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What runs but never walks?
Water.
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
Kid: Dad, can I have some money for the poor man shouting outside?
Dad: Of course! It’s kind to help. Where is he?
Kid: Over there, selling ice cream!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
The living room.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
Man 1: I got a job!
Man 2: Great, where?
Man 1: At the LEGO store.
Man 2: How is it?
Man 1: It’s a lot to build on!
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
How do trees get online?
They log in.
Why are fish so smart?
They live in schools.
What do you call a train that sneezes?
Achoo-choo train!
Why did the picture go to jail?
It was framed.
Teacher: Name two days that start with T.
Student: Today and Tomorrow!
What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my i’s on you.
Why did the frog take the bus?
His car got toad.
Why did the shirt hang out on the clothesline?
It just needed some air time!
What do you call a snowman in summer?
A puddle.
Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter.
What did the cloud say to the lightning?
You’re shocking!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
I forgot the name of the jewelry people wear on their ears…
Hmm… does it ring a bell? Ear-ring a bell?
What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
Why couldn’t the pony sing?
It was a little horse.
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing – it just let out a little whine.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer so long.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?
To see time fly.
What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.
Why are elephants never on computers?
They’re afraid of the mouse.
What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers.
What falls but never gets hurt?
Rain!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s only a joke!
Why did the bee get married?
He found his honey.
A man walked into a pizza place and ordered ten pizzas.
The cashier asked: For here or to go?
He said: To go – my whole soccer team is waiting!
Why did the pizza maker go broke?
He just couldn’t make enough dough.
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You’d think it’s R, but it’s the C!
Science class
Teacher: Let’s list some insects. Who can name one?
Student 1: Ants!
Teacher: Good. Next?
Student 2: Ants!
Teacher: We already have that one.
Student 2: Okay… their uncles!
Teacher: If you have 10 candies and I take 4, what do you have?
Student: A really unfair teacher!
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a sign that said ‘School Ahead, Go Slow’!
Teacher: What’s the chemical formula for water?
Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What?!
Student: You said it’s H to O!
Teacher: Can you spell ‘cat’?
Student: Sure – C-A-T.
Teacher: Great! Now spell ‘dog.’
Student: Hmm… I’d rather stick with the cat!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright.
Teacher: Where’s your homework?
Student: My dog ate it.
Teacher: You don’t have a dog.
Student: It was a stray. It was very hungry.
Question: How do you tangle earphones so badly nobody in the world can untie them?
Answer: Step 1: Take your earphones.
Step 2: Put them in your pocket.
Step 3: Take them out.
Why don’t oysters share?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake!
Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal.